Okay, there are probably more than just the one spider, but right now I’m focused on the one right outside my front door.
I’ve seen it’s web the last couple days, but I haven’t thought much about it, because I hadn’t seen the spider.
Last night, I saw the spider.
It was big and black and had eight legs of death, and was in the center of it’s hazardous web, waiting for something, anything, to brush by.
Black Widow Spider? I think so.
This morning, I opened the front door, and peeked outside. The web was still there, floating in the slight breeze, an ominous warning of the poisonous owner, but she was no where to be seen. Hiding…lurking…avoiding the direct sunlight until her prey comes near, and then…
I can’t leave my house. She is hiding and waiting, and she WILL eat me.
I mean, sure, I love animals, and I respect them and all, and with most outdoor spiders, I just run away in fear and let them continue on their merry way, off to go eat bugs and just live in peace. BUT SHE IS RIGHT OUTSIDE.
I tried to get my facebook friends to come kill her for me. They are less than helpful. So, I’m just hiding in my house until…until…What’s a natural predator to a black widow spider?
…Well, goodbye again dear reader.
Maybe my brother will kill the spider.
Or my parents will, when they get home tomorrow.
Or she will leave forever and never return.
…I can only hope.
P.S. Lately I think I’ve been sounding a little paranoid. Afraid of brain-eating-amoebas, afraid of poisonous bugs that are outside my front door, afraid of sounding paranoid, it must be annoying to you, dear reader. I apologize. Sadly, I can’t do anything about it. HORRIBLE THINGS JUST KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!
Just kidding, my life is grand. The other day a musician said I had a singing voice that “made all the boys hearts melt”. Then my cousin said she hated me and wanted to steal my voice…So yeah, my life is pretty good, especially because when your cousin says she hates you in that way, she doesn’t really mean it…I think…