DIE BRAIN EATING AMOEBAS! DIE DIE DIE!!!

My parents went on vacation…so I’m eating Swiss Chard out of the giant pot I cooked it in, and Google searching “saline rinse and death”.

I’ve had a cold for the past 9 days that I’ve been hoping and praying was merely a non-infectious sinus infection, and I just spoke with an advice nurse who dashed my little hopes and told me to try a saline rinse.

Since my Mom’s not here, I have to do the research about brain eating amoebas, excuse me, amoebae, by myself. According to Webster, both of those plural forms of the word are correct, but I digress. SALINE RINSES HAVE CAUSED DEATH!

I don’t want to die, nor experience death by brain eating amoebas. I mean, COME ON! I can’t have brain surgery (technically there was no actual interaction with the brain, but “neurosurgery” just doesn’t sound quite as thrilling,) and then die because something ate my brain!

Also, that’s way too close to an apocalyptic ending, even if the zombies are microbe sized.

So, to prevent an untimely and tragic demise, I boiled the water on the stove for ten minutes (Internet doctors said 5…), and added the baking soda (advice nurse’s recipe), and salt, while it was still on the stove. (Adding baking soda to a boiling pot of water is an exciting experience. The stove burner went out when several ounces of boiling baking soda powered water bubbled over it.)

Now that concoction is cooling while I try to figure out how I want to spend my last minutes, of not being eaten by heat defying amoebas, on earth.

This blog post is my farewell.

If I do die, you’ll know how, and if I don’t, you might see more posts by me in the future.

I suppose that isn’t a very exciting “if I live” outcome, but the problem is, after all, only microbe sized

Ba-dum-tssssh. (Drum rimshot sound, because that was a pun…about amoebas…I think. )

Well, here’s hoping I don’t die and that I can hear again.

– Catherine

(P.S. I may chicken out and wait for my brother to come home and tell me that the sinus rinse is really a good idea…)

Advertisements

About writingcatherine

This started as a documentation of my adventures in Europe...but hey, life's an adventure in itself.
This entry was posted in Life after Graduating College and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s