Why can’t there ever be good news?
I now know what it feels like to be an aunt / an adult caring about a little kid and realizing you can’t do anything to ease their sufferings except pray and hope and love. It’s not a great feeling. My niece is having surgery, she’s eight. Her middle name is Catherine, though she’s not named after me, and she always gets upset whenever I leave for college, or even when I leave her house after visiting. She always wants me to play barbies with her, despite the fact that my boredom with the play tends to become apparent very quickly, and she gives me hugs whenever she sees me. We talk on the phone when I’m in school, and I tell her about my classes, and we send each other letters. I owe her a picnic in the park and probably a slumber party too, because she always wants me to come over and hang out with her.

I made her a pink card, with hearts and flowers drawn on it, and her name in bright yellow letters. I love that kid, and loving her increases my pity for all the parents and aunts and uncles of the world. Taking care of someone, and them loving you back, loving you more than you thought possible, more than you probably deserve, loving you simply because they are full of love and want to share it with you, makes it so that it doesn’t feel good when they hurt. People who love like that shouldn’t hurt, people you love like that shouldn’t hurt, shouldn’t suffer hard pain.

Yet they do, and so you have an excuse to take them to Disneyland and buy them Barbies and shower them with hugs and kisses and spoil them rotten. Because then hopefully they’ll feel better, and then you’ll feel better, because your happiness depends a lot on whether they’re happy. Well, God please make my adorable nieces and nephews happy, because it’s gonna hurt too much if they’re not.


…There’s probably some theological or psychological problems here, what with my happiness being dependent on the happiness of others and the demanding things of God, albeit politely, but I think I got some good point in there. Pray for my family!



About writingcatherine

This started as a documentation of my adventures in Europe...but hey, life's an adventure in itself.
This entry was posted in The Surgery Story - Chiari Malformation. Bookmark the permalink.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s