I’m down to the last 42 days, or 6 weeks before I return to school. I’ve been waiting for this since August. 15 weeks are over and past, and just 6 are between me and my path to independence. Or something. My path back to normal? I have one more Doctor’s appointment and MRI scheduled for two weeks from now, and before that appointment, like in a few hours I get to call the doctor just to make sure some of my paranoia is just paranoia. Then I have Christmas and New Years, and prayers that my sister’s surgery goes well (seriously, what is with this family of invalids?), and eventually, back to the stresses that are Oh so much less stressful than those of my health.
I slept 3 hours tonight and then woke up unhappy and attempted to find some sort of cheer in the old pages of my blog, I was successful.The source of happiness, a post from September 2011:
“I tried some beer and hated it, and I freak out a little sometimes, and I don’t speak any German, and I write run-on sentences, but I don’t think anything will ever change my life like this experience will / already has. If you’re praying for me, keep doing so, if you weren’t, I hope you are now aware of how much your prayers are needed (poor me, in a foreign country, studying in Europe, needing prayers to get me through, WHAT? Broken adapters? HAH! —Yes, I know how incredibly lucky I am, I just ask for the prayers to help me live my life and this experience the best way I possibly can and to communicate in the best possible way to you), and I thank you all for your love and care, and I’ll write again soon, hopefully within the week, and by that time I’ll probably adapt a completely new blog writing style and confuse you even more.”
The happiness? I find it in the memories of that time, and the irony of my current situation. How God seemed to take the line “I don’t think anything will ever change my life like this experience will / already has” as a challenge and one year later things got flipped around for me again.
Considering the reason I woke up tonight was from a nightmare and dread of monotony, this blog has been incredibly comforting and helpful in showing me that my life is anything but that. Sure, I spend several weeks doing the same thing over and over again, but somehow what I’m doing changes radically each year. 4 years ago I was a high school student reflecting on my first extended stay away from my family. 3 years ago I was still missing my family enough to spend my first semester of college seeing everything and how different it was from home. 2 years ago I had adjusted to being a college student and was trying to enjoy every moment as much as I could. 1 year ago I was amazed by the fact that I was in another country. Now I’m back home, but under circumstances I don’t think anyone would have ever imagined.
Sometimes I may be bored, but my life is definitely not boring.