It has recently come to my attention, in the last hour and a half I’ve spent in the computer lab, that I am a horrible blog writer. Not super horrible, but pretty horrible. I have about a million experiences to explain and things I’d like to tell, but I don’t know if I should speak as if to my family, or my friends, or my “colleagues”, or whether I should talk about how I keep eating lots of Austrian bread, or how red wine is absolutely horrible, as is Kaiser beer, or how I can’t charge any of my electric appliances because the adapter is too big and now I have to use the computer lab, or how I’m living in an amazing place and keep feeling like I’m playing an adventure game where you explore the environment and pick things up while completing various objectives. Not only am I totally lost in that respect, but I also keep regressing into horrible writing patterns and run on sentences. I keep trying to speak German, and see it written everywhere, and I have all these foreign words in my head, that I’m having trouble communicating and speaking appropriately in English.

I’m hoping that much of this is due to the fact that I am still jet-lagged and disoriented, and that I will eventually regain the excellent speaking and writing qualities I may have once had.

Luckily, in my third attempt at communicating a few of my ideas to you readers out there, I have finally communicated some of my ideas in a way I happen to like, a little, no matter how much the English major part of me detests it.

So, that’s my blog. I’m disoriented and confused, and I don’t think I can speak or write proper English anymore.

WAIT! You need something positive, I can’t leave you in this depressed state as a reader.

Besides the fact that I am a little miserable in my lost-ness, I am excited to be here, studying in Austria, and growing as a person. I know I’ve had to have grown as a person, because I kept thinking “What am I doing going on a plane to Vienna? What am I doing in a European airport? What am I doing in a country who’s language I don’t know? How am I ever going to do this?” and though I kept questioning myself and just what I’ve gotten myself into, I’ve never once had a full on panic attack and run around in circles screaming.

I have, however, gone to the Church and prayed. That was a good moment for me. I was content and relaxed, unafraid and at home. I think I even fell asleep a couple times, but praying in the church I realized that my faith is universal, prayer is universal, there are churches everywhere, God is everywhere, and I can depend on him to get me through it. I can depend on him to help this turn into the best experience it can be and to help me grow even more outside of myself as I experience other cultures and languages and places and things.

So family, friends, random creepy strangers that I hope aren’t reading this blog, that’s what my life is like right now. I’m in a foreign country and I tried some beer and hated it, and I freak out a little sometimes, and I don’t speak any German, and I write run-on sentences, but I don’t think anything will ever change my life like this experience will / already has. If you’re praying for me, keep doing so, if you weren’t, I hope you are now aware of how much your prayers are needed (poor me, in a foreign country, studying in Europe, needing prayers to get me through, WHAT? Broken adapters? HAH! —Yes, I know how incredibly lucky I am, I just ask for the prayers to help me live my life and this experience the best way I possibly can and to communicate in the best possible way to you), and I thank you all for your love and care, and I’ll write again soon, hopefully within the week, and by that time I’ll probably adapt a completely new blog writing style and confuse you even more.

Thanks for reading,

Auf wiedersehen, Catherine

(P.S. I love you MOM! And Dad. And the family. And Sarah G. who told me to write a blog, though I’m intermittently annoyed by it and excited to write.)

About writingcatherine

This started as a documentation of my adventures in Europe...but hey, life's an adventure in itself.
This entry was posted in Austria. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Disoriented

  1. sarah g says:

    yes! i’m so happy you have a blog. keep it up! it could be as infrequent as every two weeks. don’t worry about your writing because it’s not like you’re going to publish it. we just wanna know about how much fun you’re having, and of course your physical and emotional well-being. best of luck, catherine! you’ll be americanized soon enough again haha

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